This has been a long weekend with dog sitting and walking and radiation and appointments and such. I have been so exhausted, but I think it is from not sleeping well. The dog I had been house-sitting was waking me up frequently during the night, every night. I feel like I am never going to feel rested. I dog/house sat for Bella for 16 nights. Last night was the first time I slept in my own bed and I think I rested the best I had in the last two weeks.

I also had Maggie (the dog) and Jetter (the cat), but Pete helped me out a lot with them since they were just down the street from the house. We brought Maggie over to have an outing at our house in the afternoons, and she always loves that. We both would take her for a late afternoon walk too.

I had been showing signs of swelling to my right arm during the night which indicates lymphedema, so I made an appointment for Monday, yesterday, to be fitted for a compression sleeve for night use. I use a compression sleeve in the day time, but it is specific for day use. For some reason, there is a different …device… for night time. The lymphedema therapist said I had a choice between different sleeves, so she went to get them to show me; and when she returned to the room with all the different choices, I looked at them and spontaneously expressed my displeasure loud with a groan. UGH. The therapist said “I know”, in sympathy. I just feel crummy having to wear these orthopedic appliances all hours of the day. Before it was having to wear wigs and makeup to cover up the hair loss. Now it is wearing compression appliances to prevent swelling from lymphedema. I realize it is to prevent something worse, but wearing all this stuff reminds me of what I am fighting. It just doesn’t end. I hope this isn’t forever.

Today was my 17th radiation treatment. My skin is already looking pretty sunburned or rather discolored. I hope it is temporary and not a new skin tone that I have for the rest of my life. I know this part of my journey isn’t as uncomfortable as the chemotherapy, but I am still struggling with all the apparatus that I have to add to my life. There is just so much stuff that you never think about with the treatment of cancer or even the side effects of the treatments. Some of these things are forever life-changing and I just have to go with it. The alternative is much worse never-the-less.

Today I also had my medi-port irrigated after a blood draw for labs. I saw one of my friends from my support group there getting a treatment as well. He always has a nice smile and he adds much to our group.

Since I was running from one appointment to the next, I picked up Bert the dog to take him to one of my errands, and then we walked at the Elfin forest in Los Osos. I saw a friend and stopped the car to say hello before we got there, and Bert was so excited, he barked enthusiastically. My friend laughed and commented on his excitement. You could tell how happy he was. Even when we got to the Elfin forest, a stranger commented on how happy Bert was. Dogs are great. They bring a bit of happy into our lives. I think that having my pet service really gives me something fun to do.

Because of how fatiguing all of this stuff I am going through, I have to admit that if I didn’t have my pet business, I would probably be hiding out because I would feel too tired to bring myself to doing things outside of myself. Having the responsibility has helped push myself to get out, but the animals at least give me some laughter. It is indeed my therapy job.

Tomorrow morning I will be seeing my oncology doctor and she will go over my lab work. I have been struggling with some side effects that I think are from the estrogen suppressant; but then it occurred to me that some of the side effects might be from some liquid calcium I am taking, too. Well, I can talk to her tomorrow and ask her what she thinks.